Saturday, February 16, 2008


Dale Earhardt Jr's 2008 Car and Number Change has NASCAR officials worried millions of fans will think Dale, Jr just up and quit.

Dale Earnhardt's, Jr. new 2008 ride, soon the #88 and his new car will appear on t-shirts, foam beer holders and bumper stickers across the country. But NASCAR wonders will it be soon enough to keep fans from mass panic and confusion?

NASCAR executive in Daytona Florida are scrambling today, worried that millions of NASCAR fans will be confused by the ride change of one of their premiere drivers, Dale Earnhardt, Jr. During the off season Mr. Earnhardt who was broiled in controversy, when he decided to not race for his late fathers once prominent company. As one NASCAR executve described off the record, the split from the company that bears his fathers name, "Everyone just assumed that Theresa Earnhardt is a money grubbing whore and Dale's split from his fathers company just proves it."
The split has proven a quandry for NASCAR as they are revving up for the 2008 season's big opening weekend in Daytona, Florida. NASCAR has been scrambling to get the word out about the ride change of one of their most popular drivers. Another part of the problem is Dale Jr has switched his number into a double digit number, 88. Unfortunately double digit numbers have always been a problem for many NASCAR fans, it took almost 3 years for famed driver Richard Petty's number 43 to catch on. Another problem NASCAR has is that the number 88 is traditionally driven by unpopular and "high faluting" drivers. Former #88 driver, Dave Blaney, was so extremely disliked, he was never able to dodge rumors that he enjoyed imported beer and had an Associates degree from a Junior College. Dale will have his work cut out for him this year, a couple of major hurdles, the first is getting fans to memorize the number 88 again and getting fans to respect the number again so on NASCAR official, who would not go on the record, said "big numbers like #88 has a history of being associated with "faggy" drivers, #77 Dave Blaney a few years ago is a good example some fans still haven't forgiven us for him."

One NASCAR official said one solution they have considered is dropping million of leaflets in Florida tonight before the race. A test drop in Raleigh last week did not seem to help. The official said, "The problem is most NASCAR fans can't read, so the flyers were ineffective, we're redoing now them using big pictures and no words just like the flyers the Army drops in Iraq"
NASCAR also hopes that the usual blanket of commericals featuring Budweiser, Wrangler, Hooters and other horrible products will help cut down on the confusion and get the word out. In the meantime NASCAR has braced itself for opening day hoping that they got the word out in time but just in case have hired 200 extra operators to answer phones and alleviate and worries fans may have.


Anonymous said...

Hey jerk - not all of us who watch Nascar are a bunch of hicks. Junior swithching racing teams was HUGE news so pretty much all of us Nascar fans got the memo. Plus, they made it easy - they added another 8!

Johnny Doom said...

my greatest nascar memory is when kyle busch was working as a valet and would give us drunk joy rides in the parking lot at the gold coast, good times, good times.