LENNON ROLLS OVER
Sun Damaged. Hustler Publisher Larry Flynt has reportedly offered Heather Mills 2 million dollars to keep her clothes on. Heather Mills doctors claim the sun has also damaged her brain.
Heather Mills received 50 million dollars today or as Sir Paul McCartney calls it “about a weeks wages” for failing at marriage with ex-Beatles great Paul McCartney. Sir Paul was quoted as saying, “I’ve learned my lesson mate. I’ll never order another Russian Mail order bride off a website again.” John Lennon reportedly uttered “Mai Pang” and rolled over in his grave when he heard the news.
Miss Mills team of attorney’s said she plans to invest the money wisely. Her lead attorney, Mr. E. Howard Hunt said, “Obviously not on Wall Street because that would be like just throwing money down a toilet and she had to work really, really hard to earn this money.”
Ironically, Miss Mills is reportedly going to use the 50 million to purchase Michael Jackson’s Beatles catalog so Michael Jackson can pay off his Neverland Ranch. Mr. McCartney’s daughter Stella said, “That sounds like something that greedy, peg-legged bitch would do.”
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