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A yard sale at the Clemens family estate was not the success Roger Clemens hoped it would be this weekend. Roger thinks the local kids pictured in this photo were later responsible for toilet papering his house.
Embattled former Major League Pitcher Mr. Roger Clemens, according to his son, will be making an appearance at the Houston Astros training camp later this week.
Mr. Clemens held a garage sale at his Houston estate this weekend. He sold off some of his baseball memorabilia, including an overstock of HGH, steroids, body supplements, vitamins and syringes. Mr. Clemens claims, except for the occasional golf tournament and sex with his wife, he will not need to use supplements or vitamin B anymore.
Mr. Clemens said the yard sale was not the success he hoped it would be. Sales were sluggish because of poor winter weather. Also Mr. Clemens had one of his Series Championship rings stolen. Apparently it was mixed in with some of his wife’s costume jewelry. He is asking local pawn brokers in the Houston area to be on the lookout for a large Latino family driving a red Astro van with a dent on the passenger door and a bumper sticker of Calvin and Hobbs pissing on a Ford. The family may try to pawn a Yankees World Series ring, Mr. Clemens is asking that business owners please call him, unless it’s Alex’s Rodriquez’s cousins than please call Alex or his assistant instead.
Mr. Clemens did say he is stopping by the Astros training camp later this week. He wanted to alert players he still has great deals on “B-12” shots, supplements and other remaining inventory. For anyone interested Mr. Clemens will be in the guest teams bathroom, stall #4, on Thursday around noonish.
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